It's a Math Thing

 

Anyone who knows me can tell you two things: I hate math and I am a slob. But, grad school is supposed to be about stretching oneself and growing as a human being. Therefore, I dedicate this post to that endeavor. Plus, on a date recently, SPOCK (my Sexual Partner Of the Chosen Kind), gave me a lesson in correlation that I feel should be put to use.

First, I have to begin by admitting something very painful. My mom was right about something. Now, I love my mom but because she is a conservative protestant republican, she and I have very little in common (well, besides 50% of our DNA…but that’s not the point). Some of her advice I tend to ignore. I sound like a horrible person now, but it’s true. Anyway, this summer she gave me some advice. She said I should try to keep my apartment neater and it’s very easy to do if every hour or two I take a fifteen minute break to clean. Not only will that keep my apartment cleaner but I will feel more focused when I go back to studying.

Challenge accepted.

Shitfuckmotherfuckingsonofabitchasswipecrapheadbastard!

Not only was she right, but I can prove it mathematically. Since moving to Louisville mid-August, I have kept track of a couple of items on various dates – let’s call these items variables (it's a math thing). 

Both variables are on a scale of 1 to 10. 

Date	Cleanliness of Apartment (10 is super clean)	Ability to focus on school (10 is super focused)
8/22	10	9
8/30	8	6
9/6	4	1
9/10	8	7
9/16	6	2
9/28	9	7
10/3	3	1

Now…using a simple mathematical formula:

I was able to determine that there is a 0.96 positive correlation between my apartment being clean and my ability to focus on homework. (Trust me—you don’t need to check my math, it’s totally accurate). Of course, there are other things that might affect my ability to focus on homework. Things like:

1. Hunger

2. What’s on TV

3. Is SPOCK in town?

4. Did I just have sex?

However, even if those other factors affect my focus, the cleanliness of the home still has an incredibly high rate of correlation. So I will take my medicine and admit that my mom was absolutely right. But, as SPOCK always says, even stopped clocks are right twice a day. God that was mean. I really do love my mom. (Can everyone make sure to NEVER tell her about this blog? Please?)

I bet you’re wondering, did Allie just make all that shit up? Of course I did. But that is what statisticians do…create data to play with. What? It’s a math thing and as an expert mathematician, I feel totally justified in making that statement. 

Seriously though, since beginning graduate school I have used math and I have learned how to keep my apartment a little neater for the next time mom visits (anyone want to calculate the relationship between her finding out about this blog and her continuing to love me? I am curious about that one.)

At any rate: math + clean toilet=win!